• Lumi

I am a Pretty Piece of Flesh

What do you think is more important – beauty on the outside or the beauty within? I myself am obese, and I find it difficult to appreciate the body that I find myself in. Even though it’s not completely my fault, it still grates me every time I see myself in the mirror. It’s the meds I’m on, that’s what I keep telling myself. The reality though is that it doesn’t matter what I look like on the outside, it’s what is on the inside that counts. I avoid looking at myself in the mirror because I hate what I see. I would never talk about anyone else the way I talk to myself. I am cruel, judgmental, cynical, and invalidating. That does not help though, I need to have more self-compassion like I hold for others. I need to be more accepting of myself, not just my personality but my looks as well. They are not the only thing about me. I am a kind, funny, loving and creative person. Why can’t I see that when I look in the mirror? All I see are the faults. I pray to God, let me be forgiving. I am not the sum of my exterior flaws. I have within me all I need to shine like a star in the night sky, to help others when in need, and to be more than my body expects me to be. I am indeed as Shakespeare wrote, “a pretty piece of flesh”. If only I could accept that without judgments or conditions, the way that I accept it of you.

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